I will never forget the day. I was sitting outside of my home and looking at the clear blue sky- a sunny Fall afternoon in 2006, and I was preparing to tell my job that I wasn't going back. Drained with the nauseating feeling of morning-sickness, I swallowed my fears and made the call. The lady on the other end wasn't too happy to hear of my decision. But, I was sure of our decision because of my current physical situaiton.
Pregnancy is beautiful- the first four months for me was a drag. Severe nausea, dehydtation, constipation, nothing taste good- not even water! I was hospitalized twice due to severe dehydration. I was monitored carefully because of previous miscarriages. I had to take injections in my tummy every day, along with other meds. It was quite exhausting. Yet, the most amazing feeling in the world when I felt my son's first kick... and even more amazing when I could begin to see my stomach shift from his high energy levels (really, he must have been doing laps in my belly). And finally, the day when I pushed him out, and I saw his face for the first time. And what's even more interesting is that seeing his face made every single thing I went through in the pregnancy thru labor and delivery worth while. I'd do it all over again. Infact, I am, right now!
I'm sitting here tonight, not nervous about the pregnancy or even worried about the baby. I pray for God's grace on my body and for the baby's growth and develop- same I prayed for Jr. Right now, my biggest 'concern' is God's direction in relation to work and finances.
Thankfully, I've been a stay at home mom with Kellus from day one. My husband and I knew this is what we wanted. Since I exclusively nursed him, it was important that I stayed home to bond with my son and worry less about pumping and a daycare.
What's interesting to me is that I just had a job interview with the company I had to stop working for because I was sick during the first trimester with my son.
You see, we've been talking about finances and if I should start working again for exra money- and this job pays extremely well. Goodness. I made contact, and they called me back. I had a phone interview and they invited me to the next step- interview assessment. Last Friday I went and it was great. I felt confident that they'd call back. Well, here comes Saturday- the day I decide to buy a pregnancy test and take it- only to find out, SURPRISE!
So, now I'm thinking.. "oh no! Can I go back to work there? What if I'm as sick as I was with my son? I'd feel terrible going there and quitting a month later. What about my physical well-being? Lord, what's best?"
All of these thoughts cloud my mind.
My husband is so supportive. Whatever decision I'm most comfortable with, we'll lean towards. Kellus is so sweet- he'll never admit we're in financial turmoil. He'll say how it's ok and we don't have to worry. I, on the other hand, look at numbers and think completely different than he does. "Ok, we need to get real". I'm sure you readers can sense my tone. Indeed, I had that attitude.
So, I'm praying and seeking God for direction. I want God's will to be done. We need the extra money, but now that the Lord's growing another little one inside of me, I need to do what's best in making sure I'm healthy and not stressed because of a very intense job.
Please keep me in prayer!
P.S., I couldn't be more excited! We all are. Even my son knows there's something different about mommy. God is so awesome!