Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Losing Modesty: When is it ok? Part Two

The sisters of gospel soul are back with a new album and a new attitude- a new sensual appearance seems to accompany them. Mary Mary, a grammy winning gospel duo, clearly has a great influence- globally. If you check out their myspace page, you'll see almost 20,000 comments have been left there. People praise them for their dynamic voices. They adore them for their unique style. They admonish them for their spactacular up-beat songs. But, what happens when it appears their approach slowly but surely leans more and more towards secular artist? What happens when you can't tell who you're listening to anymore?

Clearly, I'm not the only one who has an opinion about Mary Mary's new image. When I first saw their new website, I was surprised. I was even more surprised when I read an article about them from EEW Magazine. Then when I went to Essence Magazine's website to view the article in it's entirity, I was saddened by their comments.

Erica told Essence:

The biggest misconception is that Christian women are boring; we don't like to have a good time; we're scared of everything; we don't go to the beach because we can't wear bathing suits and it's just silly. I remember I was walking down the street in New York and some dude hollers, "Hey, Mary Mary, those are not gospel jeans you're wearing!" And I said, "Well tell me where to buy "gospel" jeans!" and then he was like, "My bad, you look nice." It's just funny, and while I am thankful that you want to show me respect, people need to understand that we're normal and don't have to feel like they have to tell us to listen to gospel, or that their parents go to church, and that we say hello and not praise the Lord everywhere we go.

Now, think about this for a second? Do you agree?

When I read this statement, I was shocked. If some random guy off the street told me “those are not gospel jeans you're wearing”, I would have gotten convicted. Honestly, if my husband has to tell me I'm wearing something too revealing, then clearly I need to re-evaluate some things. Instead of conviction or even admiting he is right, she took it almost as an insult and replied with a smart remark.

In my opinion

The last part of that quote really disappoints me, personally. If people are excited to meet you and discuss gospel music with you, or if they are so excited about sharing with you about their church, then as a 'gospel artist' you should feel estatic to share with them in their excitement.What happened to shining the light of Christ? Although you don't have to say “Praise the Lord” everywhere you go, your worship should be exemplified in your lifestyle. Our dress, speech and behavior reflects who we really are.

Conforming to the World?

This seems to be a popular thing now-a-days. Many gospel artist's attire completely mirrors their label mates. More and more boobs are being exposed. More and more divaish attitude is being delivered. I tusseled with writing this blog because I couldn't put my finger on what could actually be the problem. Is the record label creating the image? My husband answered that question. "They wouldn't leave such comments if that were the case." He is absolutely right.

How much say so does record labels have over what their artist wear? So many questions. I think ultimately, it boils down to who we are. What you wear tells a lot about who you are inside.

If I'm a believer and follower of Jesus Christ, my standards of living are set apart from those in the world. I'm not like them. I don't dress like them. I don't talk like them. I don't act like them. I live by the standard written for me in the holy scriptures.

What can we do?

We need to teach our daughters how to dress properly. We are to be the examples. We are to be the light. We shouldn't take on an attitude and try to promote our own individuality- making sure people know who we are and that we are strong women. We don't need to prove a point. Instead, we should be godly examples to our young ladies.

It shouldn't take others to point out what the Holy Spirit is already telling us.

This is an excerpt from

"Most people do not naturally possess an attitude of modesty as characterized by humility and simplicity. We instinctively seek recognition and attention. We want others to honor us for who we are and what we have done. However, if we follow after Christ as His disciples, we will divest ourselves of all self-seeking and submit ourselves to God. Living a life of modesty is a personal determination. We purposefully set out to be content, patiently waiting for God to give the promised rewards, which do come, even in this life. God is faithful; He sees all that we do. Contrary to the modern belief that we allow ourselves to become doormats and castoffs, those who honor God and live humbly before Him have His promise upon which to depend. (1 Peter 5:6) says, “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you.”"

Let's be the light ladies.


You can read the entire article from Essence Magazine, by clicking here. This article was written by Kenya Byrd.

You can read the entire article Modesty-Virtue by clicking here.

To visit Mary Mary's myspace, visit


elaine @ peace for the journey said...

My daughter is only six, but even now, I'm being vigilant about the clothing we purchase. Thankfully, she's more of a tomboy and doesn't desire the frill of the promotional ads out there at this point. That being said, I take my responsibility as her mother very seriously. It is up to me and her daddy to teach her modesty, and by age 6, I can already see how important this will be down the road.

My kids attend a Christian school, and I am even surprised by some of the clothes the high school girls are wearing! I've also had to teach modesty to the young men in my to respect a woman and why it is so important to guard your eyes in the matter.

One thing is certain...modesty is a rare gift; I always appreciate women (especially those in the public eye) who choose to respect their gift of influence accordingly.


Kennisha Hill said...

Thanks for posting Elaine. I always thought it is so important to start teaching our girls modesty at a very young age. My mom did that to my sister and I. We didn't dress like women- we dressed like little girls. She'd say, "You wear grown woman's clothes, when you're grown and out of my house".Thank God she installed godly principles in us.